You have permission to play
"We are most human when we are at play"
Friedrich Schiller German Philosopher 1880's
When we were young, playing was our JOB. It was the way interacted and learned about our surroundings, how to relate to people, animals, things and situations. There is no discounting the critical importance of play for children. And, humans are among the very few species of animals that play as adults.
I think you can agree that today, we are less "child" when play was self discovery, an expansive learning tool and an enthusiastic way to embrace life.
We are more "adult", prone to stress, distractions, fiscal and family responsibilities and worry. As a cancer survivor; the seriousness of life is accentuated.
But life isn't meant to be all serious with no play
Here's a quick visualization exercise to help emphasize the point. No multi tasking, just spend a moment to get comfortable, breathing fully, in and out and relaxing your shoulders, closing your eyes. Don't edit your first responses, just blurt them out, we are all friends here.
You are 9 years old, in school, and you have been watching the big clock on the wall for what seems
like hours.
Now there are 4 minutes left to your school day... you can feel the breeze coming through the windows, it's a beautiful spring afternoon. You see the teacher begin to close up for the day - that clock inches forward to dismissal time...
Then, you hear it! The school bell that screams "schools OUT!" SO... what is the FIRST thing you will do when you arrive home after school?
When I facilitate this exercise in a group of survivors, most folks yell out (with a wide grin on their face) ride my bike! Play with my little brother on the swings! Skip rocks on the pond! Play football with my friends! Roller skate!
Many folks tell me that RECESS was their favorite class
How about you?
Now, if you are way younger than I, your responses might also include object, fantasy or intellectual play - perhaps PC games or Playstation.
Mostly, though, folks recall doing something physically
ACTIVE for PLAY, and their visceral reaction is JOY.
I work in the realm of joyful movement; my clients, including cancer survivors, lean on me to help them create physical activity play.
They give themselves permission to PLAY
Why? When you were a child, exercise was play, but today, exercise can seem like a painful punishment- a penalty of sorts--you know the feeling?
And, adults are always looking for the ANGLE for their actions- will this help me lose weight? fit in my jeans? decrease chance of cancer recurrence?
(Yes to all), yet...
If exercise is something that is always on your "to do" list
and never gets "done", maybe it's because you forgot how to PLAY.
You may now be far removed from your exhilarating memories of "play". Dig deep, do you have those fond memories?
Don Siegel, Professor Emeritus of Exercise & Sport Studies at Smith College has witnessed a surge of adult campers as more and more adults are seeking that "getaway" break from the pressures of their daily lives.
I can't think of more stress than being a cancer survivor, family,
friend or care giver
What were once labeled Heath and Nutrition clinics at the college are now billed as Adult Sports and Fitness Camps a part of a new movement truly supports the important benefits of play as self care.
Here's the truth:
AUTHENTIC PLAY IS DONE SIMPLY FOR THE JOY OF THE ACTIVITY ITSELF
It's not a play date with ulterior motives...
It IS the motive
In their book called PLAY, Stuart Brown, MD and Christopher Vaughan explain the important of this unstructured, non goal oriented downtime.
“<Play> " energizes you and enlivens you. It eases your burdens.
It renews your natural sense of optimism and opens you up
to new possibilities."
That can translate to stress relief, creative problem solving and even better relationships.
You don't have to go to an Adult Camp to benefit from play. Here are 4 ways to gift yourself permission to play:
1. Calendarize it
Sure, spontaneous play is nice, but really??? Finding five minutes is hard for many folks- seek time to unleash your inner child and schedule it. Scheduling time for play is as important as that mammography.
2. Go back to kindergarten- hang with the kids or grands...
No kids? Me neither, but my nieces and nephews and neighborhood kids fill in- they are the real experts in PLAY - go biking, play hide and seek; if you aren't quite up to some of that right now, start slow with low intensity activities like catching fireflies or tossing a ball to the dog to fetch.
3. Play in the margins
Be ready for play at all times. Keep sneakers in the car and always pack your bathing suit, or a Frisbee when you travel- you never know when your schedule will have an unanticipated break and you'll be ready to sneak some play in.
4. Release your inner critic
William W. Purkey, professor and leadership guru says “You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching...”
Because, how good does it feel to set aside thinking about treatment, appointments and tests to give yourself the freedom and space to feel like that 9 year old, again?
Really good.
Why not schedule a play date with your BFF and try something totally new...maybe a bit silly...like a belly dance class, Pokémon Go!, or playing Twister.
Think about play as a way to laugh, let your guard down, release your cares for a bit, and not worry what anyone else thinks. I bet you have a friend, if you called them right now, who would be up for almost anything.
I'd love to hear from you about what ways you lose yourself in play and how it may be helping you cope.
To wrap up, here's a poem you may like:
Recapturing Recess
by Toni Yancey
Now I know
Y'all can remember
The recess bell
The wave of exhilaration
The sigh of relief
The sheer release
The transformation
Of fidgeting
Into linear motion
Raise up your hands
If you can remember
All that pent-up energy
Exploding
Into air and space
And wind and sunshine
And if you can recapture
Even a little of the joy
Of unbridled movement
Then just maybe
There's hope
For the couch potatoes
Those of you
Too worn down
Even to fidget
Think you need rest and food
But you toss and turn in bed
And meals don't really sit well
These bodies just weren't meant
For so much sittin' and standin'
And so little recess
Antronette (Toni) Yancey, MD, MPH, Co-Founder and Co-Director of the UCLA Kaiser Permanente Center for Health Equity and Professor at the UCLA Fielding School of Public Health, lost her battle with lung cancer on April 23, 2013. She was 55 years old
Despite these findings and significant evidence that exercise clearly benefits cancer patients, patients and doctors are sometimes hesitant to consider it part of the treatment plan. As in any exercise program, it’s important to acknowledge there are risks involved, but the reality is that in most cases the benefits of exercise far exceed any risks for those with a cancer diagnosis.
Exercise might be the best medicine of all for helping you return to your normal (or better!) physical and psychological functioning.
** Before considering exercise or any increase in physical activity, discuss your personal situations with your physicians. Your doctor will be able to provide medical clearance and any important restrictions. Previously sedentary, medically or mobility challenged individuals should consider at least a few sessions with an exercise professional or physical therapist to craft a safe program. **
Linda T Gottlieb, MA, CPT, CET is a nationally certified fitness coach and cancer exercise trainer who has helped hundreds of individuals embrace exercise to reclaim their fit and healthy self. The author of No Ifs Ands or Butts, Linda is one of the first certified cancer exercise trainers in the nation, contributing to many clinical trials with Yale University and is the trainer for the Center for Cancer Care at Griffin Hospital, Derby, CT, along with her private practice. Linda@FitTraining.net https://www.fittraining.net/cancer-exercise
